“Listen up, purveyors of suburban sprawl and disciples of neo-imperialistic globalization: we don’t want you here! Your homogenizing corporate branding renders entire cities faceless and steals money from independent community businesses! Your high fat, high-sugar concoctions create an addiction that only adds to the woes of the increasingly corpulent American people! And as for your sickening promotion of your quote unquote fair trade coffee… Well, I ask you, how much of that four dollar ninety-five goes back to Mr. Juan Valdez in Colombia? Do you know how much? Like hardly any! Is that `fair trade’? So be warned, `Morebucks’. We in Williamsburg are fighting back against corporate greed.”

May caffeine be with you always!