Top 31 Signs You Are Addicted to Coffee

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I did one of these once but only a couple of these are on the previous list. I hope you enjoy it and get a chuckle from them.

1. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. You sleep with your eyes open.
3. You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
4. The only time youâ€™re standing still is during an earthquake.
5. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
6. Youâ€™ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
7. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
8. You chew on other peopleâ€™s fingernails.
9. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10. Youâ€™re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

11. You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
12. You can jump-start your car without cables.
13. You donâ€™t sweat, you percolate.
14. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize itâ€™s not plugged in.
15. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
16. Youâ€™ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
17. People get dizzy just watching you.
18. Instant coffee takes too long.
19. You channel surf faster without a remote.
20. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
21. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
22. You short out motion detectors.
23. You donâ€™t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
24. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
25. You help your dog chase its tail.
26. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
27. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
28. You ski uphill.
29. You get a speeding ticket even when youâ€™re parked.
30. You answer the door before people knock.
31. You havenâ€™t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

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Comments

16 Responses to “Top 31 Signs You Are Addicted to Coffee”

Lance Winslow on December 15th, 2007 1:50 am

Wow, that was really funny, we often discuss these things at the local Starbucks, so I am going to have to print this article and show it to everyone, they are going laugh something terrible. Thank you for this, it was excellent. - Lance
Edman on December 21st, 2007 8:22 am

Haha…sadly some of these are true for me…sometimes those coffee beans just look so tasty I can’t help but grind a few of them up in my mouth.
admin on December 21st, 2007 10:15 am

LMAO! I know what you mean.
himalman on December 22nd, 2007 2:18 pm

May your holiday season be as beautiful as a Winter Wonderland! Merry Christmas ! I would like to invite you to watch : Christmas Eve in Poland…. some traditional recipes /Version english, french, polish/: http://himalman.wordpress.com/
Jeff B on December 24th, 2007 4:25 pm

My wife wishes I was #10 but I sure could’ve used #12 today. I guess I better continue drinking coffee

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

JB
Blogging about stuff that matters at http://www.fam5.com
adrn2 on January 2nd, 2008 10:38 am

I’m addicted to my Americano I get every morning at a Cuppy’s drive thru. Double shot espresso, cream and sugar gets me going every morning.
Lian Felani on February 12th, 2008 12:59 pm

I have a blog about coffee too. Please visit my blog and give your comment. thank you.
Lisa on February 13th, 2008 8:43 am

hi~
trying to contact you but there’s no email listed—LOVE the blog! Would love to be listed in your links and put one to yours on mine….Thanks!
mike on February 19th, 2008 10:33 am

Thought ya’ll might get a kick out of my own coffee humor. It’s the new version of “a guy walks into a bar” joke. We all know that coffee shops are the new bars…aguywalksintoastarbucks.com
Eric on February 25th, 2008 3:38 pm

Hehe
Eric
Roasted to order Coffee - http://www.idahoroasting.com
Josh on February 26th, 2008 9:22 am

Good Stuff!
Andre on March 13th, 2008 10:53 pm

Hey, new guy here… this is the post that caught my eye first. Number 25 FTW!
Marko on April 7th, 2008 7:12 am

Heh.. this is good! Just one notice. I DO ski uphill, but it is called “ski touring”. Anyhow, I am still addicted to coffee. I would like to add one more point to your list:
32. When you start writing a coffee blog
admin on April 8th, 2008 9:22 pm

ha! That’s a good one
sir jorge on July 9th, 2008 4:49 pm

that’s too funny, i’ll keep an eye open for the signs.
admin on July 9th, 2008 5:23 pm

Well. If you are a coffee drinker sir jorge, you’ll have no trouble keeping that eye open.