Too Much Coffee -Coffee Humor-

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The author of these sayings is unknown. If you know of anyone who may have actually been the creator of any of these, please let me know so that I can give credit. I can manage to give credit to the website where I found them though and that would be A Commonplace Book. I was looking for coffee humor when I stumbled onto their blog. I hope you enjoy it and as a courtesy to these people, you might wish to give them a visit.

You May Have Had Too Much Coffee If:

Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
You sleep with your eyes open
You watch videos in fast-forward
You lick your coffeepot clean
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
You can jump-start your car without cables
Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low
You don’t sweat, you percolate
You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table
The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you
Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house
You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”
Instant coffee takes too long
You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
You name your cats Cream and Sugar
Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

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April 20, 2005 · Filed Under Caffeinated Humor, Coffee Fun