Too Much Coffee -Coffee Humor-

The author of these sayings is unknown. If you know of anyone who may have actually been the creator of any of these, please let me know so that I can give credit. I can manage to give credit to the website where I found them though and that would be A Commonplace Book. I was looking for coffee humor when I stumbled onto their blog. I hope you enjoy it and as a courtesy to these people, you might wish to give them a visit.

    You May Have Had Too Much Coffee If:
  1. Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
  2. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
  3. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
  4. You sleep with your eyes open
  5. You watch videos in fast-forward
  6. You lick your coffeepot clean
  7. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
  8. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
  9. You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
  10. You can jump-start your car without cables
  11. Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low
  12. You don’t sweat, you percolate
  13. You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
  14. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
  15. You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table
  16. The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you
  17. Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house
  18. You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
  19. Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”
  20. Instant coffee takes too long
  21. You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
  22. You name your cats Cream and Sugar
  23. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
  24. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup