The author of these sayings is unknown. If you know of anyone who may have actually been the creator of any of these, please let me know so that I can give credit. I can manage to give credit to the website where I found them though and that would be A Commonplace Book. I was looking for coffee humor when I stumbled onto their blog. I hope you enjoy it and as a courtesy to these people, you might wish to give them a visit.
- You May Have Had Too Much Coffee If:
- Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
- You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
- You sleep with your eyes open
- You watch videos in fast-forward
- You lick your coffeepot clean
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
- You can jump-start your car without cables
- Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low
- You don’t sweat, you percolate
- You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
- You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table
- The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you
- Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house
- You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
- Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”
- Instant coffee takes too long
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
- You name your cats Cream and Sugar
- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup
